THE WAREBLOG

For wider circulation, here’s one of my favorite posts -

When Manmohan Singh opened up the economy, little did he know the ramifications of it. Yes, we have great plasma TVs, IT jobs and foreign cheerleaders in our tournaments and calendars. But it has brought in some side effects as well. As I browse through my Facebook feed through various tinted photographs of poor people and a crow eating from a bowl of rice, it only compounds my irritation.

Apparently anyone can now own a DSLR without knowing what it expands to. The moment you get one, you update your Facebook status with technical specifications of your camera that serves as a harbinger to us. Then you have two passive Facebook users(Their role in online social life ends with the like button) to like it. I think they are like assassins. You can hire them and get them to like stuff on a temporary basis. An innocent girl falls for the bait and comments “Wow”. A hound of wolves go and like her comment, which tallies to a higher rational number than the likes for your original post, thereby embarrassing you. I mean, why this hoopla? Aren’t bloggers like me shamelessly publicizing blogposts on Facebook enough for humanity?

When you get your DSLR, do you start looking at everything as a prospective photograph. Poor people are now the target of your black and white pics. Suddenly old senile men clad in loin cloth are of value to you. A wrecked car becomes an object of art. I mean, how suddenly? You categorize stuff into different senseless albums. Stray dogs come under the category of wildlife. Why man, why?Do they live in the forest? Are they endangered? I really don’t think so. They chase me all around the housing colony, as I ride my bike with my legs near the handle bar out of fear, when I return home after 11 pm. Your cycle bell is shot in high resolution and uploaded into “random pics”.”Random pics”, the worst ever name, not just for for an album. If you hate your child, you should name him “random pics”.

Doors, windows, bullet enfields and light switches go under the category of classic pictures. Who certified it as a classic? The Academy awards jury? Sigh, self-proclamation. And yes, find new names. “What I see”, “Brilliant shots from my eye” and “Shots through my lens” are trite names for an album. Just like fatuous names such as “Virtualjunk” for a blog.

You know what I dread the most? When you go for a photowalk. Apparently it is exactly like your normal walk, except for the fact that you annoy other people with your camera during your walk, thereby intruding their privacy. You shoot pictures of mango sellers, beach, shops, and everything you find. Then you post process it and make it look pretentious. And then you put your logo and copyright. Yeah, because Ram Gopal Varma is looking to sneak away your photos and plagiarize it in his next movie. Some of you even put “Rights reserved” at the footer of the image. I wonder what rights you have reserved for yourself. I will plagiarize it and see how you effectively sue me in Mumbai high court. It is tiring to see “Ram photography” , “Shyam photography” or “Soorpanakha photography” as image footers.
You don’t stop with that, do you? You have to bestow your photography tips on us. When we common men click photos with our “point and shoot” cameras, you go all over our pictures and say “This should have been shot in Macro mode” ,  “That should have been shot at this exposure”. Ok, I know you understand the nuances of photography. However all I want is just to click a button and get a picture. From now on, your shooting tips will be met with shooting, from a gun.
End of rant.

P.S: Not intended to be derisive – just an ironical perspective on photographer idiosyncrasies. No need to outrage.